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Healthy Women's World

12 Keys to Successful Parenting

  • By: Helene Rothschild



  • letter to parents

    AN OPEN LETTER FROM EVERY CHILD

    DEAR MOM, DAD, OR GUARDIAN,

    I love you, and I know that you want to be the best parent that you can be. I am very sensitive, and I can feel your warmth, your caring, and your heart's desire to see me happy, healthy and successful in all areas of my life.

    I first want to thank you for being my parent; for giving birth to me and providing for my physical needs--food, clothing and a home. Without you, I wouldn't be able to survive. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me. I am pleased and grateful that you are choosing to be there for me

    I understand how difficult parenting can be since I did not arrive with instructions. I know that you always do your best with the information that you have. You basically learned how to parent from your parents, and they did from theirs and so on down through the generations. Unless I learn other ways, I'll probably teach my children what you share with me.

    To make your job easier and to help you and I reach our goals, I want to give you the gift of telling you what I want and need. With healthy guidelines we can both experience joy, fulfillment, success, and harmony. Thank you for your openness and your love.

    The following messages come from my heart:

    AS I GROW Please...

    1. Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast. It must be difficult to keep pace with me, but please try.

    2. Listen to me and give me brief, clear answers to my questions. Then I will keep sharing my thoughts and feelings.

    3. Reward me for telling the truth. Then I am not frightened into lying.

    4. Tell me when you make mistakes and what you learned from them. That helps me accept that I am okay, even when I blunder.

    5. Pay attention to me and spend time with me. That helps me believe that I am important and worthwhile.

    6. Do the things you want me to do. Then I have a good, positive model.

    7. Trust and respect me. Even though I am smaller than you, I have feelings and needs just like you.

    8. Compliment and appreciate me. That will help me feel good and want to continue to keep my agreements and do nice things for you.

    9. Help me explore my unique interests, talents and potential. In order for me to be happy, I need to be me, and not you or someone you want me to be.

    10. Be an individual and create your own happiness. That will help me learn how to live a happy, successful, and fulfilling life.

    11. Communicate what you feel hurt or frightened about when you're angry at me. That will help me feel I'm a good person, and learn how to constructively deal with my feelings.

    12. Hug me and tell me that you care about me. That will help me feel lovable, and express caring to others.

    Thank you for hearing me. I love you!

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    2006 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.