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Healthy Women's World

Thanksgiving Is Coming -- Can You Handle It?

  • by Jan Tincher

  • Happy Thanksgiving

    *** If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, just adapt this to the holiday you will be celebrating. If you like it, share this knowledge with others.
    Thanksgiving is coming and many have large households to prepare, for incoming guests, overnight guests, and drop-in guests.

    But, you know what? It doesn't matter if you have three people coming or thirty people coming, five dishes to make or twenty dishes to make, a three room house to clean or a twenty room house to clean -- there is always someone else who has *more* people coming, *more* dishes to make, and *more* rooms to clean. And they can do it with one hand tied behind their back.

    Yes, that's a slight exaggeration, maybe, but the premise is the same. You wonder how they can do it!

    Maybe they can do it because, to them, it isn't a chore. You know, it is not a chore if *you* don't make it a chore. Some people just love cleaning and preparing. If you start thinking what a pleasure it is to open your house, and what a pleasure it is to have family visit, you can proceed -- guess what -- with pleasure.

    But what if you have worries?
    Just because some people can do it easily and seemingly effortlessly, it doesn't mean YOU don't have the fears, worries, and heartache that wanting to please family and friends brings. Just think. Sometimes, you may feel that there is so much to worry about, so much to tend to, just to make sure everyone is happy.

    And, guess what? The people who have the most fears, worries, and heartache are usually the same ones that are laid up a week before the holiday because they've overdone already. Not so much with activity as with the worry. Suddenly, they have developed a cold or the flu or have thrown their back out. And, if they thought about it, they'd realize that they *knew* they would.

    They knew they would develop a cold or the flu or throw their back out, because they knew they would never be able to make it a joyous occasion for everyone, so why try. They hate it that they've done this, but it happens every year at this time, and they just don't know why it happens to them.

    They want it to be a happy time, but they know that Uncle Joe is going to do the same thing with the whoopee cushion and embarrass everyone. They know that Aunt Jane is going to sit there and berate Uncle Joe the whole time. They know Barry, the black sheep of the family is going to show up and everyone would know he was the one they caught in the drug bust last week, and Uncle Bart will take it upon himself to tell the boy what a jackass he is, and the whole family will join in, and you could go on and on and on and on. There goes the holiday. Right?

    Wrong. Let it happen.

    That's right. I said, let it happen.

    If it's going to happen, let it happen. Then do something about it. Find a firm voice that you never knew you had before, and say, *Everyone who wants to have some fun, come with me.* Keep the bravest smile you can find and start guiding the little ones -- and if there's only one little one that will come with you, so be it -- into another room, and hope some of the older ones will follow. If not, that's OK, too. You just want to give everyone the option of a happy holiday.

    Take whoever comes and have your own little happy time, making memories. Show that person the love in your heart, and enjoy yourself.

    Now, if someone comes along later, and stragglers are definitely welcome, make sure it's well stated that whoever does will know the rules ahead of time. There will be no frowns -- that's all the rules. Take the food with you, if you want, and make a picnic. Just because you made a beautiful table, that doesn't mean you can't eat on the floor. Just because you cleaned for days, that doesn't mean you can't make a mess when you're having fun.

    Make sure and smile if Uncle Joe comes in, because you know that Uncle Joe will know the rules, and he's going to give it his best shot. Why? Because you know deep down that he loves you. If he or someone else frowns, don't give them the boot. Give them a smile until they return it -- and a little while longer. Pretty soon people will come in smiling, and who knows? Maybe you'll stop the circle that has made the holiday miserable for you and your family. Make your own new tradition. Happy Holidays!

    Remember, if you take the time and effort to change your view of reality, your brain will put in the time and effort to make your reality become your view.

    Thanks for reading, Jan

    P.S. Here's what I've found to be the best methods for handling stress:

    Copyright 2007, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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