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Reignite your sex life

  • By: Udo Vieth

  • The tempo of modern living can seem to play havoc with our sexual relationships. There are always reasons to put everything else before our sexual gratification. However, the choice is yours.

    Do you remember the passion and sexual excitement that got you into the relationship in the first place? That is what life and living is actually all about. Temporary diminishment of sexual desire can happen in any relationship. Illness, relocation, job loss or financial setbacks, can adversely affect our desire from time to time. External circumstances can and do affect the fire. Now a temporary break may actually be a good thing, as this can lead to renewed discovery of one another. The problem arises when the situation is prolonged. Now the lack of sexual desire or activity can actually cause distress in the relationship and lead to unhappiness in both partners and breakdowns. This needs to be addressed to avoid causing irreparable damage destroying the relationship.

    Here are some simple ways to get your mojo working again.

    Stop fighting!

    Resolve any issues that may be stopping you from actually communicating and being a loving couple. Clear out the trash so to speak. Are there unresolved issues that you and your partner are avoiding? Confront these and clear them out. Lingering thoughts will lead to unhappiness and avoidance of intimacy on all levels. How do you think you will connect at a physical level, if you aren't even communicating? Clear the slate so to speak.

    How well do your really know your partner

    Make intimate contact a necessity.

    You need to prioritize being close, just as an item on your to do list. pick up the laundry, be intimate, etc. We tend too put mundane activities ahead of our needs all too often. You need to live, not just exist. To live, you need to do certain enjoyable things. Sex is amongst thaoose, so prioritise it together with other fulfilling activities. Don't just assume it will happen, make it happen. This need not be inflexible, but let it happen more often than not. When you push sex aside your relationship will become like any other mundane existence. Watch out for this, don't let it happen. The more you have sex, the more you will want it. Let the snowball effect carry you in the right direction.

    Are you OK?

    Make sure that there aren't any physical reasons not to have sex. Male impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is very prevalent amongst highly stressed breadwinners. Attack the cause, reduce the stress, and if need be, use some of the available medication and seek medical assistance. This aspect of your health is as important as any other for the quality of your life. Women may have discomfort during intercourse for a variety of reasons. Again, seek assistance, resolve the physical issues. Make sure that there are no physical problems. Sometimes hormonal imbalances occurr, resulting in reduced drive, identify and remedy these. Modern medicine is very aware and capable of helping in these situations, there is no need for embarrassment, the issues are to widespread, for you too think that you are the only one with this type of problem. Sort it out.

    Are you fulfilled?

    A common situation causing disinterest, or even anger or resentment, is an unfulfilling sexual relationship. If both partners needs are not being met, one will always feel like a victim. This cannot enable a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. If our needs are not being met, talk to your partner. Work on the situation together. An understanding of the situation is the first step to resolving the issue. In many cases, just letting your partner know what you like is enough to make all the difference. In very few situations is it impossible to find a mutually acceptable compromise to satisfy both partners

    Where's the romance?

    Romance is what led to sex in the first place. Setting the right mood, creating romantic surroundings, can make all the difference. Create a little love nest. This can be a very intimate place, or an intimate time. Run a bath for your partner, put up some candles, add some scented bath oil, and voila you don't know what will happen. On a more practical note, pack the kids off to grandma for the night, order in some exotic take-away, put a candle on the table, and refuse to let her do any housework. Watch the sparks fly. There are a myriad of ways to alter the mundane, and create situations that immediately up the chances of a romantic enjoyable encounter. You just need to do it.

    Up for a dirty weekend?

    A change is as good as a holiday they say. In the romance stakes, a change of scenery can work wonders. It doesn't have to be an exotic island location (although that would be nice). Get out of the rut. Get out and see something different, and it will bring about different thoughts and attitudes to your sexual perception as well.

    Get wild.

    Sex in an elevator, with the risk of being caught at any time, could turn on some partners to the extent.

    Copyright Udo Vieth -

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